Trimmings

This morning I threw eight more bowls, five with 2# of clay and three of 1#, 1 1/2# and 2#.  Then I threw three 3# vases.  I wanted to leave the texture of slip on the surface that comes from ribbing up the side of the pot to smooth the surface.  That was an interesting exercise - I felt that I was getting lots of surface interest but when I went back later much of the slip seemed to have been absorbed into the pot so that there was no as much in the way of slip lines.  I made one very regular, one much more irregular and one kind of wonky, out of round and with slip really globbed on.  I meant to take pictures but of course I forgot.
I also trimmed the eight bowls.  The clay was just dry enough.  The clay came off with the tool in long ribbons.  That is such a satisfying activity, the bowl becoming round and smooth, the foot taking shape, then lifting it off of the wheel and feeling that I got the weight just right - not something I do very often.  When it is right the bowl feels so right, not too heavy and not too light.  It weighs the way it seems it should weigh.
So now I have 18 bowls made, in three sizes, that hopefully will be sets that will nest.  And I have four vases with slip decoration.  I'm a long ways from where I'd like to be in terms of filling the kiln.  The other members of the Guild will help fill it, but I will wish I had more new work for the Spring Show.
As I was trimming the bowls I was noticing that my face was red, like I was embarrassed.  I've noticed that feeling other times too.  I'm all alone in my studio, doing work that I feel really good about so why the feeling of embarrasment?  I wondered tonight if it had to do with not 'honoring' my skill...that I spend so much time away from doing work with clay and others are much more committed. 
The reality is that I will not choose to spend much more time in the studio.  I find the time I spend with my family and friends to be just as important.  I can't choose clay (or glass or silver or encaustics) over them.  Thursday I skiied with my son and two grandkids, this afternoon I helped my son get his house ready to paint, Monday I will ski with my granddaughter.  How can I do otherwise?  The birdbaths and coffee mugs will just have to wait.